I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
