when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
