He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
