Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
why do cheetos always look like penises
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
