Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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