Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
