There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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