So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
third nipple confirmed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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