do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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