im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
