I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
