Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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