Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
