just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
