the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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