I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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