well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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