Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
