walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
bring money and cleavage
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
