We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
