He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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