Where did you get a picture of my penis
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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