in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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