So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
