I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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