chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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