Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
bring money and cleavage
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
