Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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