HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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