Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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