is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
