Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
