the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
