I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
