so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
