I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
