Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
