he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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