I could have mohawked her pubes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
