Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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