that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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