Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
