I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
did you just send me my own nude
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
