..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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