I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im part way to drunk.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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