Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
