Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
