i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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