i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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