Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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