You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
