Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
