dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
